abegaskins-myekp

In 2014 I was working hard in our family business manufacturing PVC windows and doors.  I worked from the time I rose in the morning until the evening each day.   We had a customer in Atlanta who purchased our product.  One he day he said: “I have a friend from Thailand who owns a window and door manufacturing company in Thailand. He wants to see an American window manufacturing company. Do you mind if I bring he up and could you give him a plant tour.”   I did not have to think much about it, and I replied: “sure, no problem, bring him on up.”.

So sometime not too much later Robert shows up with his friend.  He was Thai and used the English name “Lek”.  We greeted each other and exchanged pleasantries. I don’t remember too much immediately after the greetings.  My next memory was of walking through the plant and trying to show what we did in our process.  I think we were in the plant for about 30 minutes, and I sensed that Lex seemed not relaxed.   Quite out of the blue I asked Lex a question: “if you don’t mind me asking, are you a Buddhist”?  I remember reading his body language and that was of tension.  I guess he might have thought I would kick him out for not being a Southern Christian.  But that was my own personal bias to have that interpretation.  Anyway, after a brief pause, he said: “as a matter of fact, I am”.  To which I immediately stated: “that’s interesting. I don’t know a lot about Buddhism, but it is a faith that I admire.” Which was very much a true statement in my way of thinking.  It seemed to me to be a faith with a strong amount of humility and dignity, two qualities I deeply admire.

Instantly I saw Lex’s body language relax.  From that moment on the plant tour was relaxed and fruitful.    I started asking him about Thailand and his culture.  It was obvious that I was genuinely interested in the Thai culture.  Somewhere along the way he mentioned an ancient form of Meditation called “Vipassana”.  Vipassana? What’s that? How do you spell that! Lex told me it’s a mediation that has had continuity in eastern culture for over 2500 years and traced his linage all the way back to Gautama Buddha (or more simply: Buddha). Buddha was a wandering ascetic, spiritual teacher, and philosopher who lived in the ancient Indian subcontinent (modern-day Nepal and India) during the 6th or 5th century BCE—500 years before Jesus.  I was fascinated by being able to learn about the concept of Vipassana.

After the plant tour Lex left and headed back to Atlanta with Robert. I don’t remember the exact way it happened, but Lex invited me to visit his window company in Thailand and he said we would go to the mountains of Thailand and spend 10 days learning Vipassana. 

Back in 2014 I was traveling to China about twice a year to purchase PVC extrusion tooling.   So, I thought– you know, I could easily add that to one of my extrusion tooling trips.  So, I accepted.  I had no idea what to expect.  I had not further researched Vipassana.  I was going a million miles an hour back in those days. I was working all the time, and I did not take the time to read about Vipassana.  I figured I’d just experience it.  I was informed that there would be 5 requirements of each course participant: 

1)  To abstain from killing any being: This includes all living creatures, down to small insects like mosquitoes or ants.

2) To abstain from stealing: This means taking absolutely nothing that is not freely given to you.

3)To abstain from all sexual activity: While the standard Buddhist lay precept is “abstaining from sexual misconduct.”

4) To abstain from telling lies: This is largely maintained by practicing Noble Silence: meaning no speaking, writing, or gesture to other students. You may only speak with the teacher regarding the technique or management regarding your physical needs.

5) To abstain from all intoxicants: This prohibits all alcohol, marijuana, and non-prescribed drugs. Tobacco use was strictly banned on the center grounds.

No problem. 

So, I go to Thailand.  We get in a car somewhere near Bangkok in Thailand and head north.  Northwest because we are traveling towards Burma.  Quickly we leave the city and enter rural Thailand.  It’s beautiful. Green hills in the distance.  Flat fields just off the road.  Rice fields.   And we drive on to the mountains to the north. As we travel north, poverty seems to be more prevalent (at least that’s how I recall it).  Homes become sheds the floors of which are hardened dirt, swept by the housekeeper to a standard of cleanliness that transcended the poverty we pass. On our journey we travel over the River Kwai, the same river that is in the WWII movie about the Battan Death march. The railway of death.  I had no idea that we would see this part of history.  There is an old steam engine locomotive discarded and stranded in the jungle.  There is a cemetery nearby that has the remains of British soldiers who were killed or starved to death during this time. I walked on the original bridge that these men walked on.  Surreal is word that I dislike because it is used so flippantly, but I don’t know of any other word that would best describe the emotions I felt.

…And we drive onward north.  Retracing our route on Google Maps these many years later reveals that the trip was four and a half hours long.  The hours did not drone because this was all new to me. 

We got to the Vipasana center.  It is on the Northwestern side of the State or providence of Kanchanaburi, Thailand. The area is quite quiet.  Peaceful.  Green. Simple.  Forrest, but since we are in Southeast Asia—jungle.  I like it.  We get oriented to the small venue and get our accommodation sorted out. We are all assigned separate cabins.  Little one room metal roof units. Very simple bed.  It had a bathroom and that’s about it.  But that’s all I needed.  Soon we would start the course. At that point no more talking for ten days.  No more looking anybody in the eye.  You are to imagine you are all alone.  I learned 15 years later that another purpose of not talking and no interaction is to let you experience the 10 days without discussing the process in real time.  I did not understand the purpose of silence then, but I accepted the terms.  Now it is 2026, I’ve just returned from a second 10 sitting in Jessup, Georgia.  I totally understand the importance of silence.  It has a dramatic affect on the mind’s ability to calm itself.  With the simple stimulation of conversation, the mind cannot ever completely calm down.

Back to 2014.  They give you a small flashlight.  It serves more than one purpose.  When it becomes night in Thailand, the campus got pitch dark.  The flashlight’s purpose was to help the student navigate the paths without stepping on insects. (Remember you can’t kill anything. An insect is a life to be respected). I remember one night going to my cabin in the night. As I was walking, I saw a large colony of ants marching single file across the path. Without the flashlight I could have easily stepped on them.  I stopped and observed the order of the line.  Nothing more. Nothing less.  I do remember being a little more attuned to the sprit of all life.  But I’ve always been that way.  It didn’t take a trip to Thailand for me to have an epiphany on the sanctity of life.  I guess it just gave me an extra moment to ponder the wonder of life.  

Sometime that first day 15 years ago. We begin the program. No ceremony, just an announcement that the course has begun. We are to wake up each morning at 4:30am. We are to get up and meditate in our homes for two and a half hours. Then we go to breakfast at 7am, which consists of vegetables, bread and some kind of porridge.   I don’t meditate any during the time between wake up and breakfast. I just used it as a chance to rest. After breakfast we have a one hour group meditation.

At the group mediation we are told to take a sitting position, any position that is comfortable. Legs are crossed and you sit on a pillow.   Initially it’s not too bad.

Then you are told not to move for one hour.  Focus on your breathing.  Focus on the area between your nostrils and your upper lip.  Sense any sensation.  Heat from the breath, an itch—anything.   If it’s an itch, don’t react to it—don’t scratch it.  And last, focus on clearing you mind.

It’s the last two points that are next to impossible to do when you begin.  When you are told to clear your mind, my western mind rebelled and a whole rolodex of thoughts flashed through my head.  First thought, Why am I doing this?  When can I get out of this? What is going on back home?  What about that project I’m working on?  On and on…  It was amazing how my mind could not calm down.  It was not easy to be in the moment.  I was thinking of what I needed to do when I get home.  I was thinking of the past. Thinking…thinking…thinking…but I am not supposed to think. I am supposed to focus on my breathing while I remain motionless. Hmm… there’s an itch. Slap! Scratch! Those instincts to react were initiated before my conscious mind even knew there are an itch.   This is going to be a long 10 days.

Let me tell you, it doesn’t take more than a few minutes before you start to have the need to move. It’s just wired into the mind. MOVE. It’s just an impulsive thing that is part of a western mind. 

It’s interesting to note that I went into this initialization thinking the small of my back would be hurting intensively.  What do you think happened?  Sure enough, within a few minutes I could feel the pain creeping into my back, I could feel my knees going numb, and my leg muscles were tight. I couldn’t NOT move.  “F” that! I moved to stretch my lower back, I moved to relieve the numbness in my knee, I moved to increase the blood flow in the ankles of my feet.  Basically, I moved. And my mind kept wandering. It seemed as if the mind was further ignited in thought, now there was pain and aversion that was adding to the equation.

Aversion: a strong feeling of dislike, repugnance, or opposition toward something, typically accompanied by an urge to avoid.

Yep, aversion, that describes it to a “T”.  Maybe a slight tingle of anger to top it off.  Tranquility is a long lost concept. 

There are about 80 people in the room.  40 men on the left and 40 women on the right. Each gender had their own entry and exit door.  We are separated by gender, but you can see them sitting on the far right.  You sit in the room by seniority.  Old students–those that have taken the course sit in front—and the new students sit in the back.  I’m in the back. 

Once you start the sit, you are supposed to close your eyes.  What do you think I did?  Well of course, I had my eyes open. Maybe it was rebellion, or perhaps I was just interested in how other people were reacting.  To the latter point, I see the people in the front seem to be statues, they instantly get into there sit position and do not move. 

Me, I’m adjusting to my perfect sit position.  I’m moving like a roach on a hot tin skillet. I’m supposed to be focusing on my breathing.  But there is pain, aversion…and don’t forget—a tingle of anger.

I have to sit for one hour with the objective to clear my mind. Uhh…thad’ be a failure.  Didn’t happen on my watch.  Seconds tick off like minutes. Minutes are an eternity.  A strange thing happened. Occasionally my mind did clear, and once in a while I was able to focus on my breathing. It didn’t happen much, but it did happen.  Maybe five minutes total of the first sit was of clear mind. All the other 55 minutes were consumed in aversion and pain…and a tingle of anger.

I’ll wager the average reader is not saying: Sign me up!

I had no option. I’m in the middle of Kanchanburi Providence in Thailand. I had no phone, no watch, no western electronics of any kind. And I didn’t have a car.   I am in it for the duration of the next ten days.  Might as well as been a commitment to the end of time. At least that is the way it felt.

There is a short audio recording that chants at the end. The last sentence is: “Bhavatus abba Mangalam”.  It means: May all beings be happy. I can say this: This being was happy the last hour was over.

After the first sit, there is a video to start teaching the philosophy of Vipassana.  It turns out that pain is part of the method.  You are introduced to the word “equinamenous”.

Equanimous means maintaining a perfectly balanced, non-reactive state of mind in the face of any experience—whether that experience is highly pleasant or deeply unpleasant.

From: the net. … Instead of reacting with the old habits of craving (wanting more of a good feeling) or aversion (wanting a bad feeling to stop), an equanimous mind simply observes things exactly as they are in the present moment…This last sentence is extremely powerful.  “see things exactly as they are.”  …

That is next to impossible when you apply it to our current society. We see everything with bias.  Everything.  The concept of “seeing the world as it is, with equanimity” is something lost in most adult minds in the USA. I would like to think that I have an equanimous mind, but if I really look at it with a critically thinking mind, I would have to admit that viewing reality with a non-reactive mindset is a goal that I will have to continually work towards.

We were taught Two Pillars: Awareness and Equanimity

In this tradition, equanimity never stands alone. It works hand-in-hand with awareness like the two wings of a bird.  A parable is introduced of a bird with one wing loaded with awareness and the other wing is loaded with equanimity. If the bird has awareness on one wing and no equanimity on the other wing, the bird is not balanced and will not fly.  Conversely, if the bird is loaded with equanimity and has no awareness, then the bird can not fly.  The only way the bird soars to the heights of enlightenment is with a loaded load of awareness and equanimity.  

Awareness allows you to feel the physical sensations on the body (vedanā).

Equanimity allows you to feel them without judging them as “good” or “bad.”

There is one more important insight that is introduced:  Anicca’

Anicca is an ancient Indian word for: Change.  Life is impermanent and life is about change. This is a very powerful word within this practice. I the meditator fully understands the power of Anicca, then one expects physical change within the mediation session. Thoughts will come and go. Pains will come and go. if one can accept Anicca, then one can began to disassociate with the pains that arise during the mediation session. If the meditator can begin to detach from a pain, then the meditator can begin to look at the pain objectively and not subjectively. This is the beginning of the process that completely reconfigures the brain. It all starts with controlling our thoughts. When we truely learn to control our thoughts, then we are on the path to controlling our emotions.

The Insight: Equanimity is grounded in a deep, experiential understanding of Anicca (impermanence). When you realize at a felt level that every sensation—whether it’s a painful ache in the knees or a pleasant, subtle flow of energy—arises only to pass away, there is no longer a logical reason to react to them.